Things I hate

I found a funny website today. Do feel free to check it out

http://www.hatepost.com

Tesco discriminate : against the Jedi?

The British people like to show contempt for the authorities. In the last census, so many people listed "Jedi" as their religion, that it is now an official religion in the UK. Probably one of those chain e-mail pranks that got out of hand. However, some people view it all very seriously. I was reading today that a man from Wales is a fully fledged Jedi, and has claimed Tesco are religiously discriminating against him.

Needless to say Tesco have denied it, and you have to love the standard "denial of un-PC behaviour" statement:

A Tesco spokesman said: "Jedi are very welcome to shop in our stores although we would ask them to remove their hoods.

However, the Jedi was not convinced and said:

"I'll advise worshippers to boycott Tesco if it happens again. They will feel the Force."

Yes. Quite. Something tells me this isn't going to affect Tesco's share price.

Lost in translation

When you consider there are dozens of languages spoken in Europe, it probably isn't too surprising when there is the odd error. Sometimes this is pretty minor. At Brussels airport, a big screen tells you "Welcome in Brussels". Further afield, you can get even better mistranslations. Hotel rooms in the old USSR used to say "If this is your first visit to the Soviet Union, you are welcome to it", and a laundry place in Singapore allegedly tells us that "This is the best place in town to drop your pants". Indeed.

Well, there was panic on an Aer Lingus flight the other day. Apparently, the announcement in English said "There will be some turbulence", whilst the French translation was "You're all going to die, make you peace with God". Some slight difference there. Apparently it was all due to a pre-recorded message for emergency landings being played by accident.

An airline spokesman said: "There was a malfunction of the public address system and we apologise to our passengers. This sort of thing happens very rarely."

What's French for "Someone might lose their job over this"?

New Japanese Prime Minister a space alien?

Japan's recent general election results were ground breaking, as the LDP lost 55 years of domination of Japanese politics. And you thought 12 years of Labour was a burden. The result was out of this world according to some, in fact, some took it a bit literally.

According to some, new Japanese prime minister Yukio Hatayama is a space alien. Apparently his strange mannerisms have earned him the nickname "Alien". I wonder if he bursts out of people's chests, or has a finger tip that glows whenever he wants to go home.

I suppose the expression "Take me to your leader" wouldn't work for a guy who actually IS the leader.

Charges against a rape VICTIM?!

Most people know that European governments don't care about victims' rights. But I saw a story today that took the biscuit, even by those standards. In Sweden, a rapist is pressing charges against his victim for not telling him she had HIV.

I think the phrase "you couldn't make it up" comes to mind.

Pornographic sweet wrappers?

I don't doubt that modern Britain has a fair bit of sexual imagery in the media. Of course, they are strictly small time compared to Belgium. Some of the stuff at news kiosks here would make a pimp blush. But apparently, its not adult magazines which are the subject of wrath in the British press. Apparently its sweet wrappers, featuring cartoon lemons, which are highly suggestive. In fact, one parent has complained:

Mr Simpkins, of Pontefract, West Yorkshire, said: 'The lemon and lime are locked in what appears to be a carnal encounter. The lime, whom I assume to be the gentleman in this coupling, has a particularly lurid expression on his face.

This is one of those stories you read, and keep waiting for the punch line. But it never came. This guy was actually serious.

Buses on Bastille Day

I got the bus to work the other day in Strasbourg. I sat at the bus stop and noticed something - despite being a weekday, there was virtually no traffic on the roads, and the buses, usually there every 10 minutes, were nowhere to be seen. After 45 minutes, I began to wonder if the population of Strasbourg had been taken out by some viral weapon that only people from England with names beginning with M have immunity to.

Then, it occurred to me - it was Bastille Day, the day the French overthrew their corrupt political class, and stormed the Bastille prison. May interest you to learn that the site of the Bastille was where the victorious French "Non" campaigners against the EU Constitution gathered to celebrate their victory.

Anyhows, after 45 minutes, I saw a tractor roar past, with a live cow in a horse box being pulled behind it. Turns out there was a protest at the Strasbourg parliament against milk producers subsidies. It appears the French appetite for protest is still alive and well, in keeping with the Bastille spirit.

In the end I had to walk to work...