Man shows up alive at his own funeral

Funerals are never much fun. I suppose it is even less fun when you show up to the funeral and find out it is your own.

The Telegraph reports that a Brazilian man recently showed up to a funeral, to find out it was his funeral. I am not quite sure what is Portuguese for "Twighlight Zone", but he must have thought he was in it. One quote that stands out for me is

"Before long, the walking dead appeared at the funeral. It was a relief."

Now seeing a member of the living dead has words to describe it, but "relief" generally wouldn't be top of my list. More like "completely freaked out".

Cameron rats

So, "Dave" Cameron has said there will be no referendum on Lisbon. Thus, the Conservatives yet again demonstrate that when it comes to Euroscepticism, they can talk the talk, but not walk the walk.

Hate to say "I told you so".

Giant Seagulls

When I first saw the headline "Giant seagull invades live TV news report", I initially thought this was some kind of GM story gone wrong. Like a seagull had potentially eaten some nuclear waste, and morphed into a giant.

The explanation proved to be a little more mundane.

Loch Ness Monster has a Cumbrian Cousin

I am half Cumbrian, and there are some amongst my relatives those who would argue it is my best half. Having a Cumbrian mother means you tend to have lots of Cumbrian relatives, and it would appear at least in that department, I may have something in common with the Loch Ness Monster.

Sky news is reporting that a camera has spotted strange ripples on Lake Windermere. It is consistent with locals' accounts of a monster that apparently lives in the Lake near the town of Bowness. Apparently, he/she is nicknamed "Bownessie".

Never thought I'd see the day the Loch Ness monster and I would have something in common.

Woman strips to avoid arrest

It never ceases to amaze me the lengths some criminal scum will stoop to in order to avoid arrest. Some are dangerous, such as zooming over the speed limit in pedestrian streets. Others, are, a little more provocative. Apparently, a woman was arrested in Wisconsin, and then stripped naked in the understanding nude people are exempt from arrest by some by by-law.

She told officers: 'You can't arrest me as I am going to be naked now.'

Much to her dismay, it turns out that you can indeed arrest the naked. Not to be deterred, she kicked one policeman in the groin, spat at another then rounded it all off by mooning out of the window of the police car as she was being driven away.

Clearly not a finalist in "America's Classiest Female Criminal" competition.

Reminds me a bit of a guy who was arrested in St Annes Square in Manchester a few years ago when he was promoting the "Campaign for Non-Sexual Public Nudity". After being arrested for, wait for it, indecent exposure, he appeared in court. Not being too sharp, he showed up naked to court, which isn't always the smartest thing to when defending yourself from a charge of indecent exposure.

What is French for "You can't make this stuff up"

Deputy Head of UKIP Youth Wing

I have been elected the Deputy Head of UKIP's youth wing, "Young Independence". Many thanks to everyone who voted for me.

Things I hate

I found a funny website today. Do feel free to check it out

http://www.hatepost.com